Scary Cheese Assortment (2 pound) by igourmet

I got drunk one night and decided (against my better judgment) to order this cheese assortment for my birthday.

We didn't get the cheddar with Thai curry, which I was really looking forward to. It was substituted with cheddar with caramelized onions. The onion flavor was overpowering, the cheese itself was an unappetizing yellow/vomit color, and I did not like. One of my friends, however, loved it and ended up taking the rest of it home.

I had never had mimolette before I got this cheese assortment. It looks like cantaloupe and the rind smells like a corpse that has been rotting in a moldy basement for several weeks. But the taste is really mild and it's actually pretty tasty.

No one could stomach the huntsman. It came triple wrapped, probably so as not to alarm the USPS. My friend ate some on a Ryvita cracker and had to spit it out. In her words, "it tastes like how goat poop smells." It was compared several times to garbage or rotting vegetable matter. I thought it smelled remarkably like durian. I feel I should also point out that the huntsman we received was not bright pink like the picture, but dull orange, almost like cheddar.

The pesto gouda was magical and redeemed the whole package.

The crackers left something to be desired. We received fig crackers which were NOT black and tasted like stale crispy fig newtons.

I give this assortment 3 stars because the gouda was awesome, the mimolette was ok, and it all around just has great entertainment value. Even if no one eats the damn cheese, at least it gives everyone something to talk about.

It says it right in the name. I had to throw the box away before I ever opened it out of fear. It scared the living daylights out of me to even place the order. I'm not sure why I put myself through these things. I'm tired of being afraid.

Buy Scary Cheese Assortment (2 pound) by igourmet Now